How and why did you get into filmmaking?

I was constantly surrounded by movies as a kid. My parents would take me to the movies every Tuesday, and we would rent two videos from Blockbuster every Friday. Movies were my first safe space and my first source of inspiration growing up. I was obsessed with superheroes, especially spiderman, and I knew that wanted to do something that helps people. But I didn’t know I wanted to be a filmmaker until I was like 16. I was always very dead-set on being either an engineer or a lawyer. But when I was in grade 9, I began to struggle with suicidal thoughts, and I was legitimately in a place where I was like “I could kill myself, but I haven’t seen the Avengers yet”. Whenever I was having a tough time, I would think to myself, “Peter Parker faced all these things and he kept going, Rocky Balboa faced all these things and he kept going”. And in grade 11, when I had another really bad spat, I happened to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” at the right time, and that movie really helped me, as corny as that sounds. After having such a hard time in high school, I came to the realization that movies have been with me all this time, so I should just make movies.

 

How much of this film is inspired by your own experiences?

When it comes to Turtles, that movie exists in two different timelines. My writing is always very autobiographical, and Tony is me. Tony, like myself, lives with this crux that so many people of colour live with, because we never see ourselves represented and are always told that we are “blank” negative stereotype, we never think that we can break out of our shell. Tony, he is trying to become a doctor, and he is told that he doesn’t have what it takes because he always sees himself as a villain and lesser than. On a personal level, as my thesis film, Turtles is me proving to myself that I am good enough to be a director. Thematically, me and Tony were on the same arc, him in the narrative and me in real life. It’s the same pressures. Getting my degree and making sure this film was successful wasn’t just about me. It was about the sacrifices my parents made. The actions I make carry that weight. As much as they shouldn’t, children of immigrants carry that weight.

 

What has the response to your film been like?

My favourite thing is when someone comes up to you after a screening and they’re really shy, and you can tell that it’s taking them a lot of effort to talk to you. Some people are going to tell you they like your movie just to blow smoke up your ass, and those ones doesn’t really count. But seeing another person of colour being like “hey that really resonated with me, my family’s just the same, I felt that”. Or when you get a “thank you for making this” it’s like oh, there’s a possibility I’m not wasting my life away and I’m living out my purpose. But the one that I remember the most is my grandpa took me aside and was like “you come from a long line of artists and you have the gifts of all your ancestors”.

 

How has the pandemic affected you as a filmmaker and artist?

I’ve been living with the truth for the last few months that no one cares if I die. No one cares if my mom dies. My family is expendable. I come from a working class family, my dad is a superintendent, my mom is a cleaning lady. This pandemic clearly said, “hey, you could die and we wouldn’t give a shit because the economy needs to keep going”. I’ve spent all this time trying to be Canadian, trying to be accepted by whiteness and have proximity to whiteness, but at the end of the day, no one cares about me. And that’s a truth that I need to hold. And that’s a truth that I’m going to bring forward to my movies. So that’s how filmmaking has changed for me, it’s that I have been irrevocably changed as a human being.

 

What themes are you interested in exploring in your future work?

I think it’s going to be a bit of time before I make something as happy as Turtles. The movie I’m making now is the most edgelord shit I’ve ever made. The thing is, thematically I’ve changed. Before I wanted representation for Latinx people, but now I’m like, how do you make a film that promotes transformative justice, community aid? How do you make a film that isn’t about building Canada, it’s about building the community around you to protect yourself from Canada and heal what Canada has created? So, the mission’s changed.

 

What is one piece of advice you would give a young filmmaker?

Ask yourself: what is the thematic string between all of your favourite films, what are the stories that compel you? And then tell those stories. Do you like the hero’s journey? Are you attracted to a certain archetypal character? If you are, then explore that archetype or narrative structure and see how it applies to your own life. Concentrate on what you have to say. Technical skills will come eventually. People will fuck with you if you’re honest and vulnerable and genuine and you’ll get there eventually.

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Check out what Paul-Daniel is up to on Instagram @pauldanieltorres!

 

The interview has been edited for length and clarity. The full length interview can be downloaded below. 

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